Common Characteristics of Codependence
Do you sometimes wonder if you are codependent? If you respond affirmatively to the majority of these questions, chances are the answer is yes.
•Do you feel responsible for other people's feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, health, happiness and overall sense of well-being?
•Do you feel compelled to solve everyone else's problems and take care of their every want and need?
•Do you focus the vast majority of your energy on pleasing others, protecting others, caring for others or trying to manipulate others into doing things "your way"?
•Do you mask your efforts to control people and situations as "being helpful"?
•Do you feel as if almost nothing is too much trouble, takes too much time or is too expensive if it will "help" the person/people you are involved with?
•Is your "good day" determined by how good the day is for everybody else around you?
•Do you find it easier to stand up for another, or get angry about the injustices done to another, than to stand up and fight for your own rights?
•Do you feel safest and most comfortable when you are focused on taking care of someone else?
•Do you find it hard to describe how you feel, but always seem to know how everyone else around you is feeling?
•Do you bolster your own self-worth or self-esteem by making someone else feel good?
•Do you feel insecure and guilty when someone gives to you?
•Do you feel empty, bored and worthless if you don't have someone else to take care of, a problem to solve or a crisis to deal with?
•Are you often unable to stop talking, thinking and worrying about other people and their problems?
•Do you lose your serenity because someone else in your life is having a "bad day"?
•Are you terrified of angry people and personal criticism?
•Do you loose sight of your own life when you are "in love" with someone else?
•Do you put your hobbies, interests, likes and dislikes aside whenever you're with someone else?
•Do other people's desires dictate your behaviors?
•Do you value other people's opinions more than you value your own?
•Are you thoughts and feelings more reflective of the thoughts and feelings of others around you than of your own?
•Do you stay in unfulfilling or toxic relationships for fear that no one else will want you?
•Do you seem to go from one bad relationship to another?
•Do you sometimes wonder if you are addicted to personal or emotional pain?
•Do you sometimes wonder if you have "sucker" written on your forehead or "doormat" on your back?
•Do you find "normal" or "nice" people boring?
If you would like to learn more about codependence, I suggest you start with Melody Beattie's book, "Codependent No More," or check out her website.
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